Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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