Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
