You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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