plz talk dirty to me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
