I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
