I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
