he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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