I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
