so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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