How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Randomize
