Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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