i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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