my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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