Dual....:-)
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
