I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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