Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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