I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just tell him i said nine months
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
