Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
