hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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