It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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