It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
