Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize