Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
