He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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