I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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