I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
