Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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