omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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