O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
