saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
