got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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