Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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