I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
