we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
