So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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