The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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