I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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