I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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