but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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