me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
