I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
