you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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