Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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