And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
