come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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