My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
