Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
