He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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