So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
