I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
