I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
