the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
