What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
