How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
