you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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