Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
