dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
