he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
