It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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