we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
