i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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