YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
