well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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