5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
