you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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