OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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