she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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