its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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