kristin has been a bad kristin
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
