It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
