I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
