Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
